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The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 23rd, 2008, 3:57 pm
by BlueTronic
Qyzbud basically covered all the the general threads, so far.

This thread's the cherry that goes on top. ;)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 24th, 2008, 12:10 pm
by Jomingo
In Soviet Russia, joke tells you!!

Chuck Norris was walking down the street with an erection. No one survived.

So two guys walked into a bar. Ouch!

Is this thing on?

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 24th, 2008, 1:05 pm
by Tiptup Jr.
Okay so two black guys walk into a bar.

And then two gay guys walk in.

And then the black guys kill the gay guys.

... :?

Uh... pickles?

Thank you, good night!

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 24th, 2008, 2:01 pm
by cfh
Oh my.

The Joke Thread strikes again.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 3:01 am
by Jomingo
There are only two things I can't stand in this world:
1) People who are intollerant of other people's cultures
2) and the Dutch!

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 5:27 am
by BlueTronic
cfh wrote:Oh my.

The Joke Thread strikes again.

No. This one's 'Attack of the Jokes' The next one would be The Joke Thread Strikes Back. ;)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 7:05 am
by Jomingo
And then of course there will be the crappy Joke Thread prequels.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 7:10 am
by cfh
But the Joke Thread games will still be pretty good.

(I think we should let this die now...)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 7:13 am
by Jomingo
The only good one is Lego Joke Thread.

Anyway Batman, The Easter Bunny, and a smart Blonde are all sitting on a bench and a $100 dollar bill flys by. Who grabs it?
Spoiler!
No one. None of them exist.

Lovin' these new spoiler tags.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 25th, 2008, 7:45 am
by BlueTronic
cfh wrote:(I think we should let this die now...)

On the contrary, I think we should do CPR on it. :mrgreen:

EDIT: Wait! Wait! Wait! I got one that'll bring down the house!:

A man was praying to God and said "God? What's a million years to you?"
God: A million years to me is only a second.
Man: Hmmm :|... What's a million dollars to you?
God: A million dollars to me is a penny.
Man: ...*Thinks for a minute*... God, can I have a penny? :mrgreen:
God: Sure! :D... Just a second. ;)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 26th, 2008, 7:08 am
by Jomingo
Nice.

A guy and his buddy are out hunting, and one accidentally shoots the other in the face. He calls 9-1-1 and tells them what happened. They say, "Calm down. Now the first thing you have to do is make sure he's dead." There's a long pause, and then a gunshot. The guys says, "OK, now what?"

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 27th, 2008, 11:04 am
by Qyzbud
Oh holy crap.

That is a brilliant example of miscommunication. Imagine how the officer would have felt... :)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 27th, 2008, 12:19 pm
by BlueTronic
Hed've said: They don't pay me enough to do this. :roll:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 27th, 2008, 12:59 pm
by Tiptup Jr.
That's what she said!

Ha... get it? 'Cuz she's a prostitute?

Oh, nevermind.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 28th, 2008, 8:09 am
by Jomingo
No, he'd have said, "I'm getting too old for this crap".

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 28th, 2008, 3:10 pm
by BlueTronic
Something funny my friend said in his religion class at school a week ago:

Teacher: What did Jesus say when Judus kissed him on the cheek?
My Friend: "You suck! :("

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 29th, 2008, 8:26 am
by Jomingo
Oh, I just remembered we can't swear on this forum. That's what's up with my previous post. Sorry. :oops:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 29th, 2008, 10:18 am
by cfh
Can't we swear in this board? It's "Anything Goes" and it says so in the description.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: February 29th, 2008, 10:54 am
by Qyzbud
Yeah, you guys can swear in Anything Goes... no promises that it will look the way you intended, of course. :D

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 1st, 2008, 7:10 am
by Jomingo
Ooooh, tricky. :D

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 1st, 2008, 9:37 am
by BlueTronic
I saw a show where a mad scientist said "I'm gonna put myself in this copy machine, and make copies of myself!... WHO'S CRAZY NOW!? :twisted:"

Then the copies came out wrong, and he said "DARN IT! :x It alway works perfect when people do it with their butts. :|"

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 1st, 2008, 11:57 am
by Jomingo
Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the world down.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 1st, 2008, 12:42 pm
by cfh
No. No Chuck Norris jokes. They weren't even funny to begin with, and it doesn't help that everyone's already heard that one before.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 1st, 2008, 12:46 pm
by BlueTronic
I haven't :P.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 2nd, 2008, 9:27 am
by Jomingo
I apologise if my jokes are a tad out of date. At least I'm not doing Yo momma jokes, right?

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 6th, 2008, 2:22 pm
by nickp17
Tiptup Jr. wrote:Okay so two black guys walk into a bar.

And then two gay guys walk in.

And then the black guys kill the gay guys.

... :?



Haha My favorite.

I'm not racist by any stretch and I'm sure neither is tittup.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 7th, 2008, 8:56 am
by Tiptup Jr.
No, I'm not racist. I am a tad gaycist though, but I don't want to talk about that right now... ;)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 5:37 am
by Jomingo
There is no need to ever bring that up again.

But what we do need to bring attention to is that Nick just called Tiptup Tittup. Very humorous indeed.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 5:45 am
by nickp17
=O

My bad. Haha that is pretty funny. :oops: :oops:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 6:53 am
by cfh
Tittup... someone change his name to that now :lol:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 9:32 am
by BlueTronic
cfh wrote:Tittup... someone change his name to that now :lol:

Ah, leave tittup alone.

Poor Titptup

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 10:17 am
by nickp17
Cmon guys :(

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 10:25 am
by Qyzbud
I... thought I disabled guest posting... :?:

Oh wait, I left it available for this Anything Goes board.

Joke's on me, now.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 10:30 am
by BlueTronic
Cmon, guys. :(

I couldn't help it, :oops: but once is enough for me.

It's just a joke, not a real insult.

I... thought I disabled guest posting...

Oh wait, I left it available for this Anything Goes board.

Joke's on me, now.

Can you delete my guest post, please? :oops:

Qyz says: Yup. However, now that 'invisible' t you put up there isn't quite invisible...

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 2:14 pm
by Jomingo
It would be funnier if it was Tit tip. Alright, I guess that's far enough, though I wanted to make fun of other names, such as DongFu. Maybe later.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 2:18 pm
by BlueTronic
Qyzbudweiser. :P

Still think that pronunciation sounds better.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 3:28 pm
by Qyzbud
Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 3:29 pm
by Kowbrainz
Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:



That's the best joke I've heard in this thread. :P :lol:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 3:37 pm
by BlueTronic
Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:

Get it?

QyzBudwieser

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 3:41 pm
by Kowbrainz
Kong-Fu wrote:
Qyzbud wrote:Qyzbud by name... Wiser by nature. :geek:

You didn't get it?

QyzBudwieser


I think Qyz is smart enough to know what a Budwieser is... :roll:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 8th, 2008, 3:58 pm
by Qyzbud
Heh, yeah I got it. I just beat it with a better one. ;)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 9th, 2008, 8:05 am
by Tiptup Jr.
Someone on YouTube called me Tittup once. I had nightmares for a week. :cry:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 9th, 2008, 9:32 am
by nickp17
sorry TTJ

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 9th, 2008, 10:14 am
by Jomingo
There's no such thing as natural selection, only the animals Chuck Norris allows to exist.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 9th, 2008, 11:40 am
by cfh
...another one everyone's heard...

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: March 10th, 2008, 7:29 am
by BlueTronic
I used to have super-human powers :?...

...but my psychiatrist took them away. :cry:

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: April 23rd, 2008, 12:49 pm
by BlueTronic
Hey, how come no one told any yo mama jokes yet? :|

Yo mama so fat she got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: April 24th, 2008, 6:42 am
by Jomingo
I will take your mother to a nice seafood dinner, and then never call her again!

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: April 24th, 2008, 8:42 am
by Tiptup Jr.
Oh no, it is I who will be taking your mother to a nice seafood dinner! And I will call her again! BWA HA HA! :twisted:

...Too creepy?

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: April 24th, 2008, 10:20 am
by Jomingo
No, perfect amount of creepy.

But your mom is too creepy! HA HA HA! :twisted:

Too mean?